About Me

When looking back on how all of this started, I realize my fascination with death began as a child. However, the desire to be a death doula began with Caitlin Doughty. Her Ask A Mortician YouTube channel revolutionized the way I think about death and brought a new light to the end of life for me. I became knowledgeable about green types of burials, eco-death, death-positive thoughts, etc. Coming from a very Roman Catholic family, I was uncomfortable with the idea of taking up a burial plot and having a Catholic Mass said for me. Once my spirituality had deepened and expanded over time, my end-of-life plans would not be accepted positively by my family, who stood to be in control of my post-death plans in the event of my passing. 

My biological mother died alone in palliative care. I often think back to every decision I made and I wonder if I had chosen differently, would she have died with me there? The questions are too much to bear, and I would never want another human being to have to spend their life asking these questions to themselves. That is what drives me as a death doula. 

In looking positively at end-of-life plans, I’m reminded of this question posed by Alua Arthur:

“What must I do to be at peace with myself so that I may live presently and die gracefully, holding both at the same time?”

What a loaded question. I can’t imagine having a true, in-depth answer to it. What I can do, is make sure that others spend the last of their lives living as presently as possible and die as gracefully and peacefully as they would like.